Feature, Lifestyle

Yay or Nay

April 29, 2016


That typical quote we ladies receive from are mums, when our hearts are broken or just having no luck whatsoever when its comes to dating, the usual one is “When the time is right, you will meet The One, “You might already know him” but you were never advised by your mum that he could be a click, swipe or tap away. My closest interaction with this form of dating was being introduced to a guy on Facebook and found myself dating him for some time. It ended the way it began with not too much in common and solely based on looks at first sight. To be honest, I’m 24 and already completely over this so called dating scene. In the past three years I have been living in New York, a city tailor made for singletons like myself, where the word commitment is only really referred to when applying for a job. I honestly love it and could accept the rules around its quirkiness. Like many twenty something’s the very idea of being in a long-term relationship just doesn’t fit into our plans at the minute.

However eventually that will change, as I am not too sure if I fit into this modern way of dating which my friends are all referring to as “great craic” (i.e. fun). There has always been dating sites and pardon my rudeness but it was something I always imagined was for those in their 60’s who were either widowers or recently divorced. Clearly I was wrong. Talking to friends, some are interested in a potential relationship, others for companionship and then the occasional friend who just wants a bit of fun. Oh I know, how romantic? I have met some couples who have met using Tinder along with other dating sites and they are the cutest but I am sorry, I really don’t want my future boyfriend or husband to click on my face as an option while he is “online” doing god knows what else. We are not a protein shake or commodity but human beings. Besides a picture is one moment and with good lightning and photoshop we can, lets face it filter the hell out of it lol! I am sorry but I just think its setting ourselves up for a real “mans world” and honestly there’s no point in complaining this time because we are to blame as well. I have had many boyfriends and dated a few interesting characters in my short space of twenty four years and never once with any of them did I feel I needed to submit a resume of my pro’s and con’s until now. We live in a disposable world for a long time now but I really feel it has taken on a new meaning of its own. As I am writing this piece in the “real world”, I have my hair in a bun (wrapped in a towel), panda eyes from the remainders of yesterdays make up and a chocolate stain on my dressing gown from the most amazing Cadburys Oreo bar I just ate and I am sure will regret later but you can just picture this. This is not Stepford Wives 2 gentlemen and if you are looking for Mrs. Perfect perhaps there are better and more realistic ways to find her.

I feel it’s unfortunate or sad to think that this is the reality or norm we now live in and I just can’t see happiness as an outcome and if there is, chances are, it will be short lived but maybe I am wrong? Relationships are not about having the hottest arm candy or the girl who can do backflips while still looking like Kendall Jenner. Men and women are always looking for something better and possibly replaying Beyoncé’s song “Upgrade You” a little to often. There is only one queen-B and sorry boys she is taken, despite the rumors! Yes attraction is necessary but “Shallow Hal” is not. I honestly feel sorry for my generation, we are never fully content. If you are always looking sideways you will never know what’s in front of you. If you are like this with relationships I am guessing you think this way with everything else in your life. If that’s what you boys want then be my guest but sorry I wont be taking part. My advice for younger women is dream big, work hard and be your own hero, boys want dolls but “real men” want a “real woman” including all their flaws towel and all. Fortunately I feel there are real men out there who want to be in a real relationship but I guess also most of these don’t have an account on tinder.

Stay Lawless,


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