What If……

October 24, 2016

Over coming self-doubt, a common feeling we all face. Although I consider myself a new confidant me there is always an occasion were I find myself being my own worst enemy. Why am I writing about this? Well hopefully it can add an air of confidence to one of you who is afraid to take a leap of faith. I’m in my 25 year a strange one that no one seems to prepare you for. Everyone is either career driven, traveling the world or preparing for their wedding proposal. What have I learned so far is that you truly never now what’s around the corner and everyone’s idea of happiness is completely different.

I wanted to tell you a little bit about my journey and how I have slowly learned to over come self-doubt. Firstly and one of the most important things is to surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people. The people you surround yourself with are so important, your company says a lot about you as a person. I have had a selection of people who have entered my life and quickly left. There’s no need or time to be wasted on those that would rather see you fail, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t important. Three years ago I left Ireland to set off on my dream of becoming a costume designer. One person at that point had said I had no talent and was setting myself up for failure. It was a comment that left its mark for sometime I wont lie. As much as I adored this friendship I found it was better for myself to cut ties. Relationships with friends are something I hold very dear to my heart and when something like this happens it truly hurts me. My words of wisdom for this moment that we have all shared is to remember that people enter are lives for many different reasons. They were present in your life for a reason and are no longer in your life for another reason.  It shouldn’t been seen as anything negative and there is no need to hold onto bitterness. Adore them for the good moments and thank them for the lessons they have taught you.

Second is to fail, fail, fail and fail again. No one only you will know what you have failed at. A term I don’t believe in and here’s why. In recent years I have push myself forward and out of my comfort zone. Now there has been several occasions that I have aim for a goal and the outcome was not what I originally planned. However my so call failure was a detour to something better. You can analysis and set boundaries to how you perceive your life and what you “plan” to see in the future. The truth is you have no control to any of it, only your reaction to over come what faces you then and there. Life is not an equation to solve but a journey that can be sometimes challenging. Trust me you learn more from your failures then you do from your success. Lets just call failure – detour because that’s what it truly is. A quote which I love and found recently “without struggle there is not strength.”

Thirdly stop looking at what everyone else is doing just stop it. I am saying this to myself also while I am writing this, guilty. It should be the anthem to everyone’s 20s. To be happy and to be successful you need to know that one you are replaceable and two there is a lot of people who can do the job just as good as you if not better. I know anyone reading this would be asking how is this encouraging and why and I still reading this. Well hears what I think? Everyone has talent and it is important to encourage others. How do you expect people to be happy for you if your not happy for them.  No matter what field of work you are in there will always be competition. Never discourage anyone from his or her dream even if you share the same one. A napoleon complex is never a good look. Learn from your competitors, we all see and embrace this world differently. A person that is talented will not hold you back jealously will. Focus on you and what makes you happy. Wake up each day and do at least five things towards your goal no matter how small or big you may think it is.

Fourth and most important never let anyone tell you or others what you can and can not do. No one knows your dreams or capability only yourself but in saying that no one will create it for you either. Don’t sit back and think about the what if’s, get up and do it. You will never know what it will lead to, remember failure is only a detour to something better.


I hope this has helped at least one of you reading this.

Stay Lawless,

Niamh X


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